The poor girl never saw the car coming. She did everything right—looked both ways before crossing the street, only one earbud in use to maintain situational awareness, waited until the crosswalk sign indicated it was safe to cross. She did everything she was supposed to do, but it didn’t matter.
Finn sat across the street at the bus stop, eyes glued to his book. The sound of metal wrapping around meat and bone, followed by the screeching of tires peeling away, pulled his attention. A young woman laid in the street surrounded by blood and shards of glass and metal. The car was gone. People all around stared at the violent scene, unsure what to do. Finn was almost one of them. Without giving himself a second to process what happened, he sprang into action.
“You in the hat! Call 911!” Finn yelled as he rushed to the girl’s side. She tried to move, but the pain of shattered bones made it impossible. Her neck was twisted far the wrong way, her legs splayed out hyper-extended behind her. Finn pulled up her shirt, gently to avoid jostling her.
“What, is, it?” She managed. Her voice was barely a hoarse whisper. Finn said nothing, but his face must’ve given it away. Two ribs pierced through her abdomen. Below them, blood and deep bruising pointed to massive internal bleeding.
“Grab my hand,” he finally spoke, laying his hand in hers. She limply gripped onto it, holding as tightly as she could muster. “You’re gonna be okay. Look, look, my name is Finn, right? Can you tell me your name?”
The girl cleared her throat. “He, He, I, agh!” She winced and tried to curl up.
“Hey, hey, I know it’s hard, but you need to stay as still as you can right now. I’m going to take off my jacket and put it on your head to stop the bleeding. It’ll hurt, but I need to do this, okay?” He did exactly what he said, bundling his sweatshirt over the laceration. The girl screamed loud from her broken body and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed to a dangerous rate. Whatever color she still had left in her complexion faded.
The sound of sirens approaching filled the air, but it gave Finn no relief.
They were too late.
He held her hand as her pulse weakened and gave its last beat. CPR would be of no use, but he tried anyway, if only to make him believe he did everything he could.
A police officer with a sullen expression on his face approached Finn. They needed to call his mom and have her come down to get him if possible. Mama was the last person he wanted there at a time like that, but he gave in and gave up her number. Once the officer calmed her down enough to hear his side of the conversation, she hung up and, presumably, started driving to the accident. The officer then began questioning Finn.
He hadn’t seen what happened. He was too busy studying for his AP bio test he most certainly missed by then. How frivolous it seemed to him, so deep in thought that he didn’t see what happened to that poor girl. Regret boiled inside him. The car drove away before he could get a good look. Small, probably a sedan of sorts. It looked gray, or tan, or white – he couldn’t be sure. And he could barely tell if the car had a license plate, let alone read what it said.
Mama skirted her car as close to the scene as she was allowed to get. The officer finished asking his questions as she rushed to them.
“What happened to you, Finnegan?” Mama screamed. He looked down at his bloodied clothes, then back up at his horrified mother. “Who did this to you?”
“It’s okay, Mama.” He lied, then he told her the truth.
“Oh sweetheart.” She came to Finn’s side and wrapped him in her arms. The top of her head barely reached his chest, so she put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him down to her eye level. “Don’t you ever go scaring me like that again!”
“I’m sorry, Mama. I would’ve texted you.” Another lie. She kissed his forehead, and told him to get in the car.
The whole ride home, Finn couldn’t get the image of the girl out of his head. She was no older than him, and his face was the last thing she saw before she died. How was he meant to be okay after that? He tried closing his eyes and picturing anything other than the accident, but all he saw was the blood in her blonde hair and her ribs sticking through her skin. There’s no forgetting something like that.
Finn took a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the dryer as soon as they arrived at home and locked himself in his bedroom. The room was far too normal for him after what he had just endured. The navy blue walls were not his choice; the gray plaid comforter unfortunately was. He flopped onto the mattress in the corner and pulled out his phone.
For days after, Finn spent most of his time on his phone; scrolling, scrolling, more scrolling. Anything to numb his mind. His eyes stung from the bright screen, but Finn continued on his scroll. Every photo, every video, every little thing flashed images in his mind of the girl. He looked up the location of the crash. Sure enough, there was the intersection. It had been top news the day it happened; now, it barely made a footnote in the local paper. They still hadn’t shared who the girl was or if they had found the perp.
He looked up from his phone and, for just a moment, Finn had to do a double-take. Surely he must have been seeing things. It was her, sitting there at his desk. The same outfit. The same blood. His hoodie over her shoulders, the one he used to support her head before she died. Rapid blinking did nothing to ward off the vision. She faced away from him, so he could see the crack in the back of her skull where she smashed it against the pavement.
The girl swiveled in the chair and locked eyes with Finn. She screamed a scream so loud it pierced Finn’s eardrums. Tires squealing as the car peeled away. Metal wrapping around flesh. Finn recoiled and smacked his head on the headboard behind him. He remained conscious but disoriented.
When he opened his eyes again, the girl was standing over him. “Who are you?” She demanded. Finn’s scream rivaled hers in volume.
Nothing made sense. She was dead. He knew she was dead. Her body was in the morgue. And yet, here she was in Finn’s bedroom, alive – maybe.
“How did you-”
“You, you’re the guy who helped me after the accident. Why did you take me here? How long have I been out?”
“You’re- they told me you’re dead.”
The girl looked down at her body. Finn’s eyes followed. “Well clearly they lied.”
Knocks rapped at Finn’s door. It was Mama. “Finnegan, are you okay? What was that yelling?”
The desk chair was empty. The girl, the apparition—the whatever it was—vanished.
“Finnegan?” She jiggled the doorknob until it forced the door open. “What is going on? Are you okay?”
No words existed to describe just how not-okay he was. But what could he say to ease her worries? Nothing.
“I’m okay, Mama. Just got spooked is all.”
She didn’t believe him; Finn could tell by her look of pity, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t ready to talk about it, and she was okay with that. She hugged him and kissed his forehead and let him be. As the door shut, Finn let out a long-held sigh. The girl was gone, Mama went back to her work, and Finn was wholly alone yet again.
Minutes passed, though it felt like hours. If he focused, he could make the girl disappear and reappear with his mind—not as clearly as she appeared before, but enough that he could make out the details of her appearance. She was younger than he remembered, and her short hair was poorly bleached. None of those details stood out to him before this. It’s amazing what the unconscious mind picks up on. Finn tried to make her image clearer by replaying the incident over and over. He couldn’t explain it if he tried, but seeing her made him feel at peace with what happened.
One of his attempts to resurrect the vision almost worked. He could see her jade green eyes, but more than that, he could see her wounds. He reached out to touch her, but his hand fazed through and dispersed the apparition. After countless more tries proved fruitless, Finn resigned himself to scrolling on his phone again. There was nothing more he could do, nothing more he wanted to do. Finn laid his head on his pillow and turned to his side, allowing him to still see the desk.
It was two hours before Finn saw her again. He hadn’t noticed himself drifting off to sleep until he woke up with his hand on his face and drool on his pillow. He reached for his phone and, when he did, he saw her. Fully opaque, unlike the visions of her he had seen earlier. She was facing away from him, allowing Finn to see the back of her shattered skull in the chair. He stood up, approached her as slowly as he could, and knelt down to see her.
“Hey,” he said, because what else are you meant to say to a ghost-spirit-hallucination when they pay you a visit? She looked at him with wide eyes, ready to scream again. He hushed her, doing his best to keep her quiet in case his mother were to hear somehow.
“What is this, a sick joke?” She whispered back.
“I have no idea what is going on. You’re supposed to be dead. Are you dead?”
“Not as dead as you’re about to be.”
The girl lunged at him, but he watched her slip through his skin and fall to the other side of him. They stared at each other for minutes. Neither could speak. The rapping at the door returned. “Who are you talking to in there?” She opened the door once again. This time, the girl stayed, but Mama looked through her as though she were not there.
“I’m on a call with a friend from school. We have a project to do.”
“Oh I see. Who’s your friend?”
“Um.”
“Heidi.” The girl interjected.
“Heidi. We have English together.”
“Ah I see.” She spoke in that tone of voice moms use when their sons talk to girls. “Well, you two have fun.”
When she left, Heidi began to sob.
“She couldn’t see me. I was invisible to her.”
“I’m sorry, Heidi. I tried to save you, I tried.”
Heidi curled up on the floor, and Finn’s legs crossed on the bed. There was no right thing to say in that moment. Heidi was dead, yet here she was. Ghosts went against everything Finn believed to be true about the world, but this was no hallucination either. He couldn’t make sense of this thing that defied sensibility, and he couldn’t reason his way out of it.
When enough time had passed and Heidi had run out of tears to cry, she joined Finn and sat on the edge of the bed.
“What do we do now?” Heidi asked.
“Maybe we just talk?”
“Talk?”
“Tell me about yourself. I’ll go first: My name is Finnegan Longfellow, I’m hoping to become a doctor someday, and I play the oboe in my school’s band. Your turn. Is your name actually Heidi?”
“Heidi. Heidi Wagner.”
______________
I was a happy child growing up. I had parents who loved me, a sister who drove me crazy, and two kitties who could never get enough attention. We were your stereotypical family living an average life. I loved going out for walks with my sister, especially on warm nights. Those nights when it’s late but the sun is still hanging in the sky just a little bit, not ready to set? That was the best time of day if you asked me back then. Now, I’m more of a morning person. I like getting up before the sun has a chance to rise and race it to my morning routine.
I had a boyfriend. Eric. I was on my way to our usual meetup spot. We’d always go to this park in the middle of the city. Lots of people, meaning no one would notice two randoms in the crowd. After school, I skipped riding the bus and started the long walk to the park. It takes about an hour on foot. Not ideal, but I was angry at my dad and madly in love with Eric. I did it for him, the same reason I did anything.
The crosswalk lights up when you press the button. That doesn’t guarantee people will actually stop, though, so I always wait for the road to be clear before I cross. That’s exactly what I did that day. There were no cars at all when I looked, and I kept an earbud out so I could hear. It didn’t matter.
I never even saw the car coming, just heard it. Before I knew it was there, it was gone, and I was bleeding out on the ground. Then you were there, and the world faded around us. I think I knew I was dying, but all I could think about was Eric. I was thinking about him and how I had just thrown away my life for him, and was that really the last thing I’d do in my life? I guess you could say my life flashed before my eyes. My whole relationship with Eric then felt so wrong. I couldn’t believe how naive I had been. Yet, there was still a part of me that hoped Eric was genuine. I know he probably wasn’t, but what if? That is the song that has played on repeat in my head since this happened: what if?
Everything faded to black, then I woke up in your bedroom.
______________
Weeks passed. Heidi went with Finn wherever he went. On the occasions she tried to stay away, she always ended up with Finn. They were tied together; he couldn’t get away from her. Having a ghost following him around at home was strange enough, but her going to school with him was especially peculiar. He found himself wanting to include Heidi in his conversations. Ignoring her was nearly impossible. She was there but not there, conscious but not alive in this plane.
At home, the two of them continued talking and getting to know one another. If Mama came in, he’d say he was on the phone with a friend. She once asked to meet this Heidi he was talking to so much. Of course, that couldn’t happen, but she didn’t know that. Finn and Heidi discussed everything, from hobbies, to relationships, to their philosophies of life. Death certainly changes things for a person, so it came as no surprise to Finn that Heidi didn’t know what she believed anymore. To be frank, Finn was not too sure what to believe, either. There could still be an afterlife that’s not on Earth, but how Heidi would have ended up stuck here was beyond him.
Finn became accustomed to Heidi’s presence after some time. She was no longer an intrusive being he had to be around; in fact, he was growing quite fond of his new dead friend. Her voice was like sweet melodies being played underwater – audible and gracious, yet distorted. She told him about her hopes, her dreams, everything she managed to do in her too-short life, and everything she would’ve done if she had more time. He wanted to know everything there was to know about her, and Heidi shared freely. There’s nothing to hide when only one person in the world knows you exist.
______________
I was fourteen years old when I met Eric. He was older, had a couple tattoos, but I didn’t care. He told me I was the smartest girl he had ever met. Boy oh boy he was wrong about that. We hit it off, started hanging out as friends. He’d go with me on walks. It’s dangerous to go out there alone at night, he’d tell me. I trusted him.
We kept our relationship a secret from everyone. He told me people would think he’s a creep if they knew he was going out with me, and they’d think I was being manipulated. I didn’t want that to happen, so I obliged. It was so romantic, having this secret. We’d hold hands when nobody was looking; we’d exchange glances when we passed each other on the street. I loved every second of it. He made me feel so special, like I was the luckiest girl on earth to have met such a sweet guy.
I was the first one to say I Love You. It was maybe two months into the relationship, which – I know – was a bit hasty of me. We had gotten ice cream at a small parlor on the edge of town, and I managed to get some on my nose. He took his thumb and wiped it off the way a mom does with her child. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. He then asked me if I was serious about him or just looking for a fling. Now, I was taken aback. Never once had he questioned me like that. He was the most important person in my life at that time. And sure, it was only two months, but when you know, you know. I told him right then and there that I loved him. I think he was taken aback at first as well, but then he smiled at me and said it back to me.
______________
Grooming. Heidi was groomed. He wanted to fight this Eric guy forwhat he did to her. Instead, he patted her hand and rubbed his thumb on hers. Her skin had no texture to it, like he was touching pure gravitational force in the form of this girl.
“Alright, that’s enough about me,” Heidi said. “How are you doing with this?”
“How do you mean?”
“You don’t feel any kind of way about witnessing an accident that killed someone? Killed me?”
It did impact him, more than she could know. If he had been paying more attention, if he had jumped into action even sooner, maybe she’d still be alive. The severity of her injuries begged to differ, but Finn still wondered what might’ve happened if he had acted differently. His feelings on the matter paled in comparison to Heidi’s, anyway. He simply watched it happen; Heidi was the one who died. Now, she was stuck to him, the one who couldn’t save her, and he couldn’t do anything to help her move on.
When she wasn’t looking, Finn went on his phone and typed her name into the search bar. The first results were all about the crash. Below the articles was her high school’s announcement and reaction to her untimely demise. Below that, her obituary.
Should he tell her? Open it? Read it? The right thing to do would definitely be to show Heidi and give her the choice to read it or not, but what if it would do more harm than good?
“What’re you looking at?” Heidi appeared over his shoulder and eyed the phone screen. “Is that…”
“Yeah. I was going to show but-”
Heidi didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence before ripping the phone from his grasp and opening the link.
______________
Heidi Lynn Wagner was taken from this world Thursday, March 12th, 2026 in a tragic hit-and-run. She lived sixteen years, and all sixteen of those years, we were blessed to have her as our daughter. She brought love and light into every room she entered. To know Heidi was to love her, and many people were impacted by her existence. Her early departure is a tragedy in every sense of the word, and her absence will be felt by every person in her life.
In her short life, Heidi prided herself on her work. She volunteered at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society every Wednesday, and she was part of the choir at her high school. She put herself into everything she did, and her efforts paid off when she won Student of the Month for her project on disability advocacy. Heidi wanted to work in disability services when she grew up. Making a difference in her community was her main goal in life, and though her mission was cut short, it is fair to say she achieved this goal. Our family, her friends, and the community as a whole are all better because of her.
Heidi is survived by her parents, George and Virginia Wagner; her little sister Isobella; grandfather George Sr.; and two cats, Bobbie and Princess. She also has many aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends who are mourning her passing. In lieu of flowers, we ask for donations to be sent to the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society in Heidi’s honor.
______________
He could see tears in Heidi’s eyes. They wanted to fall, but she refused to let them escape.
“They really cared about me. They cared, and I was going to throw it all away for someone who never cared.”
“I’m sorry Heidi.”
“And who knows if I’ll ever be able to go home, or see the afterlife, or know if there even is one? What do I do Finn?”
What could they do? Finn was no spirit medium. This was uncharted territory, and he was as lost as Columbus. He suggested they look it up, but Heidi gave him a curious look. Yeah, Googling might be an odd choice, but this was an odd situation. They needed to act.
“I might have an idea.” This piqued Heidi’s interest. “What if you’re stuck because you need to move on but you can’t? We should try and help you work through this so you can start to heal.”
“How do you say we do that?”
“What if we set up a little memorial for you at the crash site? Think about it. You get to honor your death in a way that a bunch of people will see. Maybe that’ll be enough.”
“Sounds a bit out there if you ask me, but I’m willing to try just about anything if it means not staying a ghost forever. I’ve heard way too many stories about scorned ghosts, and I don’t intend to become one of them.”
And so, they got to work on the memorial. Finn collected any paper products he could find around the apartment and spread them out across the floor of his room. Heidi reached for a pair of scissors and, to both their surprise, she picked them up. Finn could only imagine how insane this must have looked to anyone other than him. They printed off the picture of Heidi that her parents used in the obituary. It was the picture of her from the student-of-the-month award. To go with it, they cut out paper flowers to create a border around the photo and make space for people to add their own messages to the memorial.
It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t aesthetic. It was barely organized. But it was theirs. Finn cut out strips of paper to add her name, dates of birth and death, and the words 16 YEARS WELL LIVED around the photo. He had the idea to also put up the obituary next to the photo of Heidi so people could see her face and read her story. They would staple it up to the power pole across from the accident site when they finished. As they worked, he and Heidi continued talking.
______________
The first time Eric wanted to have sex, I told him I wasn’t ready. He texted me asking to meet for something Special; the wink at the end of the message told me everything I needed to know about this meeting. He had been dropping hints that he wanted me for some time, but every time, I played it off as though it were a joke. I was still a kid. Some of my friends still hadn’t even had their first boyfriends yet. I didn’t want to rush into it. I told him it’d be a yes once I was ready, and he said okay. I was happy he respected my choice.
The second time he wanted to have sex, he was less patient. It was my fifteenth birthday, and I opted not to have a party so I could go hang out with Eric. He invited me over to his apartment for the first time that day, and I was not about to pass up the opportunity. We sat on his couch and watched movies I was not old enough to be watching yet. He started kissing me, and he told me he wanted more, but I still wasn’t ready. He told me that I’m old enough now and that I should give it a try. Just trust me, he said. And so I did. I wasn’t ready, but I trusted him anyway.
From that point on, Eric basically owned me. He could’ve asked me anything and I would have done it, no hesitation. If he wanted to go somewhere, we’d go. If he wanted sex, I was his fix. I stopped hanging out with most of my friends to be with him. Even ditched school on more than a few occasions. He was my everything.
______________
“I think it’s missing something,” said Heidi. She took a pen and a piece of pink construction paper and started writing. I will miss you! she wrote in purple ink. “It’s for the people I’m leaving behind, including myself. Like you said, I might as well give myself a proper goodbye since I have the chance.”
Finn couldn’t help but smile. She looked… happy. Maybe this plan would actually work. He hoped it would, but the thought that she’d be gone forever felt surreal to him.
The bus ride from Finn’s apartment to the bus stop he was at on that fateful day was bumpy and uncomfortable. Heidi stood the whole time. She said she didn’t want a stranger to unknowingly sit on her, then wondered how many ghosts she had sat on in her life. The two of them laughed at the absurdity of the question. Then, they rounded the corner and came to the bus stop.
It looked exactly the same as it did before the accident. Cars passing by, pedestrians on the sidewalk, and, occasionally, the crosswalk sign lighting up. He approached the crosswalk and was going to press the button, but a force of some sort stopped him from hitting it.It was Heidi.
“I can’t go over there, Finn. I can’t cross the street.”
“Come on, it’ll be okay. It’s not like you can get hit again.” Finn suddenly became aware he was talking to a ghost in public and looked absolutely insane. “Please?” He reached his hand out for her. She took it in hers and stepped onto the road.
With every step, Heidi pulled at Finn to walk faster. He understood and picked up the pace. No cars were coming, but her anxiety was surely palpable. Still, they crossed safely and reached their goal. The power pole was notably empty, a perfect blank canvas for their memorial. Finn stapled it up and stood back to take it all in. They had made that. Heidi’s flowers were neater than his, but it was okay. To him, it was all beautiful.
He looked over to Heidi who smiled as she took it all in. “If I leave you here,” he started, “do you think you’d come detached from me and be able to go?”
“I don’t know. Let’s find out.”
“You gonna be okay?”
“As long as I can leave, yes.”
Finn turned away and walked home instead of taking the bus, partly because he was out of cash and partly because he needed to clear his head. The walk took as long as the bus ride with all its stops. Every car reminded him of the one that hit Heidi. Tires screeching. Horns honking. By the time he reached home, his legs were burning and exhausted, but his head and vision were notably clear. No Heidi. She was gone.
The apartment was empty, just how he liked it. With Mama out of the house and Heidi off to whatever the afterlife had in store for her, Finn was free to do whatever he wanted to do. He could do anything! Like… what did he want to do now? All his time for the past month revolved around Heidi. With nobody to talk to constantly connected to him, the darkness began its assault.
It started innocently enough. Finn whipped out his phone and began scrolling again, trying to come up with something to occupy his time, just like he did when the accident first occurred. He thought he’d just get caught up on anything he missed in the time spent with Heidi. Then the memories came flooding in, and all he could see was her.
Heidi – the girl he failed to save, the girl whose blood was on his hands. She was gone, but she still haunted his thoughts.
Finn threw his phone across the room. It hit the wall so hard he thought he might’ve broken a hole straight through the drywall. He looked down and saw her mangled form in his arms. Screeching tires. Screaming bystanders.
Heidi vanished from Finn’s grasp. He tried wholeheartedly to bring back her image but to no avail. As he tried, his phone came back to him. He leapt back in his seat. It was Heidi, the real one, who still wore his hoodie. She handed him the phone.
His plan didn’t work. Finn didn’t know what he should feel, but he sure knew he shouldn’t feel relief. And yet, that’s exactly what he felt. Tear stains covered her face.
“What happened?” Finn asked.
“I stood looking at my memorial for a long time. The occasional person stopped to see what it was, but none stayed long enough to read, and none left any messages. I wanted so badly to scream out, ‘I’m here, I’m here!’ and be seen by anybody, but nothing. Something tugged at my arm. It pulled me away from the memorial site and toward the city. I couldn’t break free from it. I weaved between buildings, sped through moving cars and people alike, until I arrived here.”
“I’m sorry, Heidi, I’m sorry you had to come back…”
“Tell me something. Was all of this for me or for you? Did you really want to help me, or did you want me gone for your sake? If that’s the case, I’m not mad, I just want you to tell me the truth.”
Finn hesitated; he didn’t know the answer. It was meant to be for Heidi, but she was right – that wouldn’t do anything to help her heal. It gave her a brief reprieve, but it changed nothing for her. It did nothing for him, either. He had failed them both.
Heidi stood up and made her way to the bedroom door. She was about to walk out when a sudden force dragged her back into the room. She couldn’t leave Finn. In a fit of rage, she screamed at the sky and threw herself to the floor. The contents of Finn’s desk went flying, and all his dresser drawers flung open, spilling out clothes in all directions. Heidi and Finn both looked around in horror at the scene before them.
“Did I, do that?” Heidi asked, her voice sheepish and breaking like she was ready to cry.
“It’s okay-”
“Would you stop saying that! It won’t be okay. I have nobody. Gah, I’m so stupid. My parents will never forgive me for what I did if they knew.”
“Knew what?”
______________
Eric and I dated in secret for over a year. I’d live a normal life on the surface, then rendezvous at his place any spare chance I could get. One day, he asked me a question. Would I move in with him and allow him to tell people about us now that I was sixteen? I was thrown by this. The secret was what made it so fun. I know it’s horrible to say, but I wasn’t ready to give that up. I told him I’d have to think about it. What would it mean for school? For my family? I still wanted to have my normal life. He told me that we’d find a way to make it work.
One night, I got into an argument with my dad. We fought about everything at the time. I was out too late, I wore too much makeup, I wasn’t spending enough time on homework despite still getting everything done. It was exhausting.
This argument was different. I came inside after walking home from hanging out with Eric, and my dad was up waiting for me. It must’ve been around one in the morning when I walked through that door. My dad was furious. He screamed at me, asking where I had been and who I was hanging out with to have been out as late as I was. I told him I was studying at a friend’s house, but he didn’t believe me one bit. He told me I was grounded until further notice, which for him could be anywhere from a few days to a few months. I thought this time he might even ground me the rest of the school year. I’d never seen him so angry before.
His yelling woke up my little sister, Bella. She came running down the stairs to see what was going on. I loved that little girl so much. She always wanted to be part of what I was doing, but I didn’t want her anywhere near this conversation. Dad told her to go back to bed but she refused. She wanted to know what I did that made him that mad. He wouldn’t tell her, and I wasn’t about to say a word. When he threatened to ground her as well, that’s when she decided to finally listen and go back upstairs.
Dad continued ranting at me after she was gone. At some point, I just stopped responding and let him yell. It wasn’t doing me any good to try and fight him on this. He wouldn’t get it. He’s my dad after all; it’s his job to worry about me, but I wasn’t a little kid anymore. He didn’t need to worry. He eventually got all his words out. I don’t remember everything he said. I’m a disappointment, blah blah blah, how did I think this made my sister feel, blah blah blah. I’m too smart to be acting so stupid, yada yada yada, and so on.
I packed a bag and texted Eric that I would move in with him and to pick me up the next day.
______________
“My biggest regret,” said Heidi, “is that my parents have to live knowing their daughter’s last act on this earth was to try and get away from them. How horrible of a person am I for that to be the case?”
“You’re not horrible at all. You were just a kid. Now, we’re going to keep trying to send you on until you are finally home.”
“Finn?”
“Yes?”
“How are you holding up? I never got an answer last time I tried to ask. You’ve been putting all this effort into helping me, but you haven’t spoken once about your own feelings. You didn’t even talk to your own mother about it. There’s no way you’re fine after seeing my- I’m worried about you. Once I’m gone, what are you going to do?”
The what-ifs returned. When they would finally find a way to free her, he had no idea what he would do. He’d be lost. Finn glanced away from Heidi and shook his head.
“How am I supposed to move on, Heidi? Tell me. Tell me, please, because I don’t know. It’s my fault you’re dead, and now it’s my fault you can’t reach the afterlife.”
“Finn, it’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the person who hit me. And we don’t know what happens after death. Yeah, I’m stuck here, but we don’t know what comes next. For all we know, this could all be in vain. The fact that you’ve been willing to try and help me without destroying me via exorcism or something tells me you care, and that’s what matters to me. I don’t blame you for trying, but you need to take care of yourself now. Whether I can go to paradise and live forever or I stay here as a ghost, you need to address this. I can’t go on being your reason for existing. You still have a life. Go live. Go hug your mom and tell her what you’ve been feeling.”
Finn hugged Heidi. She was cold to the touch, which made sense, but it still surprised him. She was right. He was the only one who blamed him for what happened. If she were to be able to move on, he needed to move on first.
Inspiration struck. If his plan worked, Heidi would be free, and he’d never see her again. He never imagined how bittersweet that reality could sound. If this didn’t work, he couldn’t imagine what it would take. He wanted her to stay, he really did, but he needed to do this for both of them.
“I think we need to go to your home.”
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I lived on this street for most of my life. We moved here when I was four years old and my little sister was just born. I learned how to ride a bike here, had my first sleepover here, stayed up late on calls with my best friends here. It was my home. My mom liked to say this house was her third baby. She put her heart into the renovations to make the place exactly how she wanted it to be.
That porch is where I met my best friend. Her name is Gretchen. We were seven. She was riding her bike around the neighborhood, and I asked if I could join her. We were inseparable after that. Our parents used to joke that we were sisters in a previous life. Clearly, it doesn’t work that way. It’s been a while since we last spoke. We fell out of contact when I started seeing Eric.
I didn’t share this with Eric, but I told Gretchen about him. She tried to warn me about him, that he was just using me, but that’s exactly what Eric said would happen if I told, so I yelled at her for not being supportive of me. She called me ridiculous and walked out. After that, she tried to reach out to me a couple of times, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I wanted to blame her for our friendship ending.
Eric never got to see where I lived. We always either met in crowded public spaces or we’d go to his apartment. I’m glad my home never had the chance to be tainted by him.
When you get to the front door, make sure you use the doorbell. It has a camera built in. My parents like to see who is at the door before answering. If he’s home, it’ll probably be him who answers. He’s a sweet guy but hesitant around new people. Greet him, be polite, and don’t say anything that would set off alarm bells.
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Finn stepped up to the front door and rang the bell. Sure enough, the camera activated, and he smiled at it. Heidi smiled too, though she did not show up in the footage. After a few minutes, a large man opened the door. He looked just like Heidi, but burlier.
“Mr. Wagner?” Finn’s voice came out shakier than he’d hoped.
“Who wants to know?” He sounded just like Heidi, too.
“Um, I’m a friend of your daughter Heidi. I saw her before… anyways, um, she wanted to say she was sorry for walking out the way she did and-”
“Are you the one who put up the memorial?”
“Yeah that was me. Why?”
Mr. Wagner wrapped Finn in a warm embrace and bawled into Finn’s shoulder. “Thank you, kid. Thank you.” He left his hand on Finn’s shoulder for a moment. Finn looked back to Heidi who sat on the stoop and was crying equally as much as her father. For the first time since they’d met, she looked content. Mr. Wagner hugged and thanked Finn one more time and went back inside, unable to handle his emotions any longer. Tears welled in Finn’s eyes now as well.
Finn took a seat next to Heidi on the steps, and she slipped her hand into his and whispered, “Thank you.” The wounds marring her head began to close up. The blood left her hair. She was healing.
As he held her hand, Heidi slowly started fading. He gripped her hand tighter, tighter, until he had fazed through hers and she was but a mist.
“I’m going to miss you, Heidi.”
Heidi removed the hoodie Finn gave her back at the scene and handed it back to him. “I’m glad I got the chance to meet you, even if it was after my death. Maybe we’ll meet again in another life. Feel free to visit me any time. I don’t know if I’ll be here or not, but if I am…”
With that, Heidi dissipated into the air, and Finn’s hand was frozen in a fist.
Finn returned home, passing by the intersection that started his journey with Heidi. Cars drove over the spot where she took her last breath. People walked by not knowing the tragedy that took place. The memorial next to the crosswalk, however, had grown immensely since they had started it days before. People expressing their love for her, sharing their favorite memories. He stopped to look at what had been added. One was a letter from Gretchen.
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Dear Heidi,
I love you. I hope you can forgive me in your death. You’ll always be my sister, no matter what life we are in.
Love, Gretchen ❤
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He moved the pin so Gretchen’s message could be with Heidi’s message to herself. Then, with the pen and paper they left there, Finn wrote his own goodbye to her.
Ember Frost Writes 
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