Behind Closed Doors

The night is boring, like every other night in the seven years of her life. Averlie plays with her dolls in her room. Daddy is out like he always is on Fridays after work. He won’t be back for a while, but she’ll hear when he’s home. She always does.

Mommy and Hanna are in the kitchen, probably arguing about money or the wine Mommy always drinks. Hanna doesn’t like it, but Mommy says it keeps her happy. Averlie tried it once. It was yucky, and Daddy yelled at Mommy for letting her drink it.

Footsteps stomp toward Averlie’s door. It’s Hanna, not Mommy. She knows Hanna’s steps are heavier than Mommy’s. Hanna knocks on the door, a soft knock to a dun, dun, dun-dun-dun beat. Their secret code to let the other know it is them. She lets her in. Hanna’s face is red, and her lip quivers. Averlie gives her a hug. She needs it.

“Want to play shadow Monsters?” Hanna offers up.

The sisters turn off the lights and power up their flashlights. Averlie’s little hands struggle to make any clear shape, but Hanna has mastered the art of the shadow puppet. She creates this scary wolf monster with sharp teeth and big claws. Averlie loves the game, but she sees what Hanna is trying to do. Shadow Monsters is the game they always play when Mommy is upset. It is meant to distract her and, sometimes, it works.

This is not one of those times.

Mommy’s shouts get louder and louder, even though nobody is listening. Averlie imagines Mommy is having a heated argument with herself. She’d giggle if it weren’t so scary, hearing her out of her mind like this. Hanna sits down next to Averlie and puts a hand on her knee. It’s her way of saying, “It’s going to be okay.”Even when neither of them believes it to be true, they pretend. Sometimes, that is the only way to get through it.

Mommy’s voice quiets for a moment, and the front door slams shut. Daddy’s home. It isn’t long before the yelling resumes. They’re both drunk and angry, and nothing ever goes well when they’re drunk and angry. Hanna gets up and locks the bedroom door. She rarely does that. Only when Mommy and Daddy get violent does she lock them in.

“I could tell you a story,” Hanna offers when she realizes Shadow Monsters won’t be enough this time. Averlie nods her head and scoots onto her sister’s lap.

“Once upon a time, there was a little deer who lived in the woods. Now, this was a friendly deer, beloved by all the other woodland creatures. She helped the squirrels in her territory find food and defended them from potential predators.” Mommy and Daddy’s argument grows louder, and Hanna has to lean in for Averlie to hear. “One day, a little boy was on a walk with his parents through the forest. At some point, he wandered off the path and couldn’t find his way back to them.”

A thud from across the house distracts Hanna and Averlie for a moment. They are fighting again. Daddy probably pushed Mommy to the floor. She saw it happen once before. Another crash. A heavier one. That one must be Daddy.

Hanna continued her story. “The little boy heard some scary sounds as the sun went down. It was getting dark, and he was getting more and more lost. He cried for his Mom, but she was nowhere to be seen. The friendly deer emerged from the brush and stood watching the boy.”

Mommy rambles off words that don’t sound like real words, like she is just yelling for the sake of being heard. Daddy is doing the same, only slightly louder. Their voices climb over each other, each trying to be the loudest in the room.

“What the deer knew that the boy didn’t is that there were evil monster deer in the area, deer that would eat the boy if they found him! She needed to save him from them. The monster deer growled in the distance. They were hungry and on the hunt. Then, he saw the friendly deer. She lowered herself to his level to show him she was a friend. He ran up to her, and she nuzzled her head on his.”

A popping noise, louder and stronger than any sound she has ever heard, exploded from the kitchen, followed by another thump.

“What was that?” She leaps from Hanna’s lap and reaches for the doorknob, but Hanna wrenches her back.

“Nothing, I’m sure they’re just talking.” Averlie doesn’t believe her one bit, but she listens to her sister and stays put. “Let’s continue the story.”

“The boy was so small and fragile. He needed her to protect him. A snarl came from the woods. The hungry deer had arrived, and they were looking for a snack! The friendly deer didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t leave the boy; he’d never survive on his own. But she needed to do something. So, she positioned herself in front of the boy and stood on guard, watching for the predators.”

Angry Mommy footsteps stomp to Averlie’s bedroom door. Hanna quickly checks to make sure the door is still locked. It is. Mommy pounds on the door.

“Girls!” Her voice sounds funny, and her words aren’t clear. “Let me in! I need to talk to you. I know you’re in there.”

Hanna puts her finger to her lips and shushes Averlie. Averlie, in return, mimes herself locking up her own lips. Mommy is scary when she’s drunk. She’s seen Mommy swing at Hanna. It’s the only time Averlie’s ever seen Hanna flinch.

Mommy continues to pound on the door. It doesn’t sound like a fist. It’s too heavy. Whatever it is sounds like it could take the door down if she keeps it up.

“Come to the door. I just want to talk. Your dad is gone. Open this damn door right now!”

Gone? Gone where? Hanna picks Averlie up and moves her to the far corner of the room, diagonal from the door. She then stands off to the side of the door and knocks. What follows is a pop so loud Averlie thinks the house just exploded. Her ears ring, and her head spins. There’s a hole in the bedroom door and another one in the wall opposite.

Hanna rushes to Averlie. Hanna’s arm is bleeding now, but she doesn’t seem fazed. She opens the window and pushes the screen out.

“Is Mommy okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine.” She checks Averlie for any wounds. After seeing that Averlie is safe, she continues. “Wanna know what happens next with the deer and the boy?” Averlie nods, but she isn’t so sure of her answer. She wants to see Mommy. Why can’t she see Mommy?

“The friendly deer could see the evil ones, and they weren’t going to let anything stand in the way of their meal. So, she knelt down for the boy to hop on her back and ran.”

“Where did they run to?”

“Let’s find out.” Hanna gets on her knees, and Averlie climbs up onto her shoulders. It’s been a while since she got a piggyback ride from her. Hanna struggles at first, but she quickly finds her footing and carries them both out the window.

They walk and walk, and Hanna keeps readjusting Averlie on her back to carry her. A bunch of police cars and ambulances with sirens blaring come barreling toward them. Hanna lets Averlie down to the ground and starts waving her hands. One of the cars pulls over, the others skidding on by to the sisters’ house. Hanna and the officer talk for a moment, but Averlie’s ears are still ringing—getting worse—so she can’t hear what they’re saying. The officer ushers Hanna and Averlie into the back of the car. Averlie is scared at first, but Hanna takes her hand and mouths the words, “It’s alright.”

The police officer comes back to the car. He drives them up to the house and guides Hanna and Averlie to an ambulance. Averlie doesn’t want to go to the ambulance. Two of the guys in EMT outfits try to take Hanna away from her, and Averlie cries out, “No! Don’t leave me!” Another EMT holds Averlie’s arm so she can’t leave.

“It’s okay, Ave. I’ll be right back to finish the story.”

Her words do nothing to soothe Averlie, but Hanna leaves with them anyway. Averlie sits there, alone, thinking about the events of the past hours. She makes up countless stories to explain why the police are at her house. Her arms tremble in fear the more she thinks. The EMT lady staying with Averlie asks her a question, but she can barely hear a thing.

The officer brings Hanna back to her not long after. Thank goodness. They hug, and Hanna wipes tears out of Averlie’s eyes.

“Ready for the end of the story?”

“The friendly deer runs and runs with the little boy on her back until she can’t run any longer. She’s tired, but they’ve just about reached a clearing in the woods. In the clearing, they met a family of honey bears. The bears looked scary at first, but the deer knew they were there to help. She told the bears about the evil deer chasing them, and the bears formed a circle around the friendly deer and the boy to protect them.

“When the evil deer made it to the clearing, they saw the bears and froze. They were no match for the ferocity of bears, so they ran back into the woods. The bears then helped make a bed for the boy to spend the night, and the friendly deer slept next to him to keep him warm.”

“Does the boy make it back to his parents?”

“I don’t know, Ave. But he still has his deer friend, and for now, that’s enough.”